Well, it's not going to kill you

History lessons

3 years ago this month I was getting into the throws of starting chemo.  I just went back to my archives to see what I had written 3 years ago today.  As it turns out nothing.  But I did post on the 8th and the 10th should any of you be interested in going back into time.

It was the time between having my first treatment 6/30  and the beginning of my hair failing out.  Not a fun time at all, I was convinced I was not going to be able to live through it, I was SO, SO sick.  If you'd asked me then I would have told you it would be a fricking miracle if I was alive at the end of treatment.

But here I am today.  Still dealing with the aftermath of breast cancer but alive and (mostly) kicking.

  

It almost never fails

I head to the bedroom to read, I like to read lying down I think it's a leftover from chemo when I could only lay flat on my back so I learned to read that way.

Any way I'm reading 3 books, now 4 at once - 2 for book club and 2 just because.  Every time I go into read I eventually fall asleep.  Dr. Sanity tells me to listen to by body so when I feel myself drifting off I just go with it, especially since I've learned HSP (highly sensitive people) like me need LOTS of sleep.

But I have to tell you it makes slow going for reading!

Today

That about covers it.  I made it 3 entire days without calling or emailing Dr. Sanity.  Of course I should add that I spent Sat. in a codeine induced haze trying to get rid of the head that wouldn't go away.  It's still here but it's back to it's regular "oh it's just my allergy"

I'm patting myself on the back!

Not breast cancer

I just realized that I haven't blogged about my breast cancer for quite a while.  I know this is a blog about my journey through bc, but I find it quite pleasant not to have it on my mind 24 hours a day.  Thank you Dr. Sanity!

Like I've said before once you have been diagnosed and gone the the process of getting rid of it it's always in the back of your mind.  Small things will bring unwanted memories floating back.  I had the flu a couple of weeks ago and laying on my back not moving reminded me a lot about going through chemo.

As you all know chemo was REALLY hard on me.  But obviously it's not the same for everyone.  I heard a few weeks ago of a woman who works until noon on Fridays, has her chemo at 1 and is ready to go back to work on Monday.

I also haven't blogged about a project I'm unsuccessfully working on.  The idea is about year 2 it really hits you that you've had breast cancer.  I'm trying to come up with some sort of emotionally recovery/support plan.  If any on you out there have any ideas or know of any programs please pass them on

Is it just me?

Or is everyone else as fed up with the Michael Jackson coverage as I am.

Night and day, CNN, MSNBC, Network evening news, local news it's everywhere.

Enough already.  There are far more important things going on in the world than the death of Michael Jackson and all it's weird fallout

He was just a singer (and a nut job at that) not a God.  He made no contribution to the greater good of the world and has probably screwed up"his" 3 children for a good long time.

People get over it and move on.

I was planning

on writing a very informative post about something ...  But I'm taking codeine for the headache that will not go away and all of a sudden it's caught up with me.  I always have headaches because of my allergy but when I had the flu a couple of weeks ago it REALLY got bad.  It's better now but still it feels as if a troll in steel tipped boots is marching across my forehead randomly kicking.

Maybe a better post later in the cay.

It is so fricking hot I can hardly think!

We're having a heat wave, actually we've been having a heat wave for the last 2 days (100 degrees +) sob, I just checked the weather channel it's forecast to be at least 89 for the next 10 days.

I don't do hot.  I hate hot unless there is a beach a few feet from me.  However this being the bay area it's the fog time of year so it's usually cold at the beach.  Oh well.

To make things even better the air conditioner in our bedroom is not working.  We turned in on for the first time since last summer yesterday.  It died.  We do have a big ceiling fan in the bedroom but when it doesn't cool down outside much, it really doesn't cool down inside.  Sleep?  Who wants to sleep?  Just toss and turn, toss a couple of cats off the bed, read ... omg I NEED my sleep.

Every day life

After 3 1/2 days in bed with the flu (oh such BAD memories of chemo), yesterday I celebrated my first extended day out of bed by visiting Dr. Sanity then we went to a dinner party.  The regular FWF group had been invited to another couple's house for dinner.  They have a place in Lincoln as well as in Healdsburg so we don't seem them often.

It was the usual you bring this, you bring this, etc.  Since I have been crowned Queen of appetizers I made appetizers.  It was the same stuffed brie I'd made a couple of weeks ago except I couldn't find 1 big brie in town so I bought 2 small ones.  I stuff them with basil, shallots, sundried tomatoes and walnuts.  Then wrap them in puff pastry and bake for about 20 mins.  1 turned out perfect, the other (in my mind) a catastrophic failure.  It had leaked most of the contents out onto the cookie sheet.  Chase, mr food himself, just scooped in up, plopped the leaked contents on top of the dough and problem solved.  It actually looked really good that way.  And tasted delicious.

I was relatively certain I wouldn't be eating much because I'd hardly eaten anything all week.  My appetite returned with a vengeance!

But what really got me was the after dinner drink Limoncello  .

Oh my goodness, the stuff is addictive!  And fortunately for all of us Bev and Chase have a lemon tree that is ALWAYS loaded, experimenting here we come.

Michael Jackson

According to the news tonight you'd think the world has stopped spinning because Michael Jackson died.  MSNBC preempted Rachel Maddow to do a special that mostly consisted of footage of his body being loaded into a helicopter for transport to the coroner's office.  I don't mean to be rude but BFD!

So he could sing, I didn't like his music, I didn't like him.  The man was a freak, a paranoid freak at that.  "No I've never had plastic surgery", "no I've never lightened my skin", "ok, so I dangled an infant off a balcony but it was only that once".Having his children walk around with their little faces covered for God's sake.  Which now makes me wonder what is going to happen to said children.  Hopefully someone slightly more sane with take over their care and raise them to be as normal as possible considering the environment they've been living in.

We place far too much important on celebrities and sports figures in this country, paying them obscene amounts of money while we treat firefighters, police officers and teachers like dirt.  Something needs to be done.  Firefighters and police officers risk their lives for us EVERY SINGLE DAY.  It's stressful having a member of your family in either of those positions.  I speak from experience as my brother-in-law and a cousin are both in law enforcement.  Every time I hear of an officer being injured in either of the places they work I freak until I hear that they're ok.  I don't know how my sister or my cousin's girlfriend live with it. I was talking to my nephew the other day, he's 20.  He's ready for his dad to retire.  I asked him why.  He said that when he was little it didn't bother him so much because he didn't really have a grasp on what his dad did.  Now he does and he worries about him all the time, and let me tell you Christopher worries about EVERYTHING so I know this is really hard on him!

SO there's my rant for the day - wow I haven't had a good rant in a long time.  Maybe I'm becoming a little less self absorbed, a very good sign.

I think the Repubs have lost their moral highground.

Let's see we have Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig,  Senator Ted "Take Any and All Bribes" Stevens, Senator David "Clinton should resign" Vitter, Senator John "Clinton should resign" Ensign and now Governor Mark "Disappearing Act" Sanford.  Divorces and affairs right and left all the while they claim  "Family Values" as their marching song.   I wonder if they see the irony.  Probably not.

Now I'm not saying that the Dems haven't done their fair share of hypocritical things but it seems they have the good sense not to sling mud then get caught.

I think the Senate ethics committee should throw them all out on their ears.  How can these men even begin to claim their's is the party of Family Values when everything we turn around another on of them has been caught doing something illegal or immoral.  No wonder the Republican party is wandering in the wilderness, literally and figuratively.