Well, it's not going to kill you

I know it's bad...

But I just can't help myself from mocking Michelle Bachman the would be presidential candidate how thinks the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery.  I'm thinking she should head back to junior college for 3 quarters of American History.

 Can she really be that dumb?  And if she is that dumb what does it say for the rest of the Tea Party who seem to think that they are a separate party rather than Republicans?

The next 2 years should be highly entertaining.

As plain as the nose on your face

Yes a great big staph infection spot just below the bridge of my nose, I feel like Rudolph the Reindeer.

When people look at me I'm convinced that's all they see.  Of course the FWF group all had to examine it up close and personal.

I'm now on my second antibiotic crossing my fingers that it's not MRSA.  MFAMANA knows all about MRSA and I don't want to go there.  So I diligently gently was my nose twice a day, apply topical antibiotic and take my oral antibiotic.  

Also adding to the day is LAUNDRY.  I'm bound and determined that it WILL be finished by the end of the day as I tend to let my mind wander and forget about the beeping washer and dryer and OMG you should see my closet.  I truly have no idea where to put the clean clothes until I clean my closet.

Excitement people, excitement!

Silence

After years of needing sound for company I have finally learned to treasure silence.

It's a novel experience not to be bombarded by the tv or listen to itunes while I work.  It's a big step for me to be comfortable in my own brain without needing outside stimulation.  It's wonderful, just me and my computer, or book, or sewing machine grooving with each other.  It also makes concentrating MUCH easier.

So big changes going on in my world, only seeing Dr. Sanity once a week, treasuring silence and just for a change of pace a staph infection on my nose for which I am now on my second antibiotic.  Keep your fingers crossed that it's not MRSA, I've been told that antibiotic is really nasty.

In silence I can go here   and feel like this 

 

 

GO Stanford Medicine

I heard yesterday that Stanford has developed a new drug to treat triple negative cancer.  Triple negative unless caught early - thank you Dennis McDonald MD - is aggressive and hard to treat.   Drugs that work for other breast cancer do little to help.

During testing this drug extented peoples lives by an additional 5 months.  No 5 months isn't a long time but when you're looking at 7 months and can extend it to a year well Hallelujah!

Mind 1, body 0

Thanks to Dr. Sanity, Dr. Drug and some incredibly hard and painful work I now have a fairly firm grip on my mind again.

My body is another thing.  It is a lingering after effect of chemo.  I lost my sense of balance during chemo and have never quite recovered it.  I am firmly convinced every single time I leave Dr. Sanity's office I'm going to take a header down these   lovely stairs.  I usually stop at the top step, take a deep breath, grab the bannister and hope for the best.

Dr. Sanity would like to me to get my head and body back in the same space using yoga or something of that nature.  Also lifting weights and general exercise.  I came home on Friday with 2 tiny little 3 lb weights* and an exercise mat.  Larry inquired why.  Dr. Sanity.  When did she become in charge of your body, not wishing to go into the long conversation that Dr. Sanity and I had, I simply replied Dr. Sanity.

It dawned on me this morning that I've transitioned from Amy being head of my cancer team to Dr. Sanity being head of my repair team.

* As I was standing there trying to decided between 3 or 4 lb weights a little old lady walked up, grabbed 2 15lb weights as if they were light as feathers and walked away.  How demoralizing.  I decided on 3 lb weights : - )

 

 

Yes indeed 2 large dogs can fit in my car (they could probably find it as well)

Colin had the thrill of his life this morning our neighbors Pyrenees wandered down from where she lives and came to visit.  Colin was beside himself to have someone to play with.  Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, she had a tag with her name and number.  I would have kept her otherwise.

We called the owner, left a message and waited.  No call back so we loaded her in the car along with Colin to take her home...  to her locked gate driveway.  I had the idea to drive down the road to the person who is the neighborhood watch block captain to see if we could use her phone because my cell only works here when it's raining, I'm standing in the driveway crying and trying to call Dr. Sanity.  Ok that might be a slight exaggeration but not by much.

In the meantime Bonnie's (the dog) owner got our message and drove down here.  We left another message before we left the block captain's house telling her we where taking Bonnie home until we could reach each other.

As we walked in the door the phone was ringing.  We said we'd bring her home as we hadn't even let her out of the car yet so off we went again.  Colin was having the time of his life barking like a mad man because 1) he was in the car and 2) there was another dog in there with him.

So the moral of the story is this spring when we look for a buddy for Colin we can consider a Pyrenees because 2 large dogs WILL fit in my car.  Can you tell I really, really want another Pyrenees?

Christmas a bit late

But who cares my Kindle has arrived    I have been salivating over the Kindle since it first came out.  Stashing spare money when I had it to get myself one.  I'd been talking to Larry about it months ago and in December he asked what's the electronic thing you're always talking about?  The Kindle?  Yea, would you like it for Christmas?

Needless to say I threw myself at his feet in worship.  Now the stash goes to replace my sewing machine which is deader than a doornail and not worth the $500 - $600 it would cost to repair it.  I have a new even better for quilters machine on layaway which I'm hoping to pick up in a couple of months.  In the meantime I've borrowed Dr. Sanity's machine to work on piecing a quilt top together.

Happy, happy, happy!

Life is trending towards... normal

When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.

Willie Nelson

Yes normal, you have no idea what it means to write that.  Yes I still have off days but with damn hard work, the assistance of Dr. Sanity and Dr. Drug I'm feeling better than I have in years.  My bad days may derail me for a bit but it's so much easier to recover from them now.

Life has sparkle again, I have a quiet appreciation of all the little blessings that are around me.  Tonight the smell of dinner on the stove and a ripe avocado.

We so take for granted all the blessings around us on a daily basis.  To be that's what normal means.  Being aware and appreciating the gifts I've been given on a daily basis no matter how small and reveling in the big ones.  A wonderful husband, dear caring friends, a loving family and pieces of my sanity back.

Oh there is still work to be done, you know that patience, humility and tolerence issue I have but even that is ever so slowly getting better.

Yes it's a wonderful world -

      with thanks to Louie Armstrong

News in Medicine

Actually great news in medicine.  A blood test has been developed that can find a single cancer cell in your body.  UCSF doesn't know exactly what they're going to do with it now but possibly it can mean changes in the course of treatment.

YES!

The Great Pill Box Ritual

Most people don't realize that a lot of depression is biochemical, thus literally all in your head.

Most people also have the good sense to get themselves a Dr. Sanity and a Dr. Drug when they start on their journey through breast cancer...  guess who didn't.

As a result I'm taking 4 anti-anxiety/anti-depressant drugs A DAY plus 2 for my allergy, 1 for my blood pressure, calcium and vitamin D as ordered by Amy.

Invariably when it comes time to fill the box there is a cat hanging around to "help".

The ritual comes in when I start to fill the box.  By now I can recognize the drugs by their size and color which are varied and many.  I start with 1 bottle, fill the proper hole and move on to the next bottle, rinse and repeat. The fun starts when Emme sits on the nightstand and methodically knocks the bottles off or Ted tries to put his paw in one of the holes to fish whatever I just put in there out or Sophie decides that this is a perfect time to sprawl across the box.  Or even better someone puts their weight on the slides of the box and dumps everything out.  Oh how I look forward to the pill box ritual that little game that keeps the cats happy.