Well, it's not going to kill you

The answering machine

But first let me say I swear to God the wine cellar is warmer than our bedroom.  The thermostat for the heater is not working so we have no heat in there.  Luckily we have a heated mattress pad and a down comforter - it's just that getting out of bed in the morning I'm dreading.

Now on to the answering machine.  Larry likes to make our message, well let's just say creative.

While Shrub was still in office the message included things like we were attending a class on waterboarding and ended with power to the CIA.

When Obama was elected he changed it.  Now it includes that we are attending a class on Hope and Freedom.  It absolutely astounds me how many people don't get that it's satire, including my MIL.  Now I'll admit that she's not a particularly sophisticated woman but come on, the message has been on the machine since January you think she'd have figured it out by now.

Same thing with a couple of our tenants.  One actually left a request that we call after we got home from class.

No but it's going to piss the living hell out of me.

This assault upon women's healthcare.  Of course you need to take into account that this public health studies were begun under the Bush administration so there was probably no science or scientists involved.

However now that the crackpots in the House and Senate have their bribed little hands on our health I'm feeling a bit wary.

Jen asked in a comment on the post I wrote about her and the 3 day walk "what should we do?"  Because my focus is breast cancer, duh, I told her to talk to the doc who delivered her kids as a first step.  As an OB/GYN he or she is the perfect place to start.  Lot's of tumors get found by OB/GYN's.  I suggested that she find out if there is a digital mammogram machine in her community, if there's not one in San Diego we're all in big trouble.  I suggested all of you start rabble rousing in your communities and raising funds for digital mammo machines.  NOT digitized films mind you a digital MACHINE and along with that a dedicated radiologist to read the films.  No more what ever radiologists hands the digital pictures happen to land in that day.  We deserve and should demand nothing less.

Don't be intimidated if you're told that can't be done, especially you Kaiser people.  Yes it can and the Sutter NorthBay Women's Breast Care Center is living proof.  It's not easy, it took us 10 years but it got done and we can now say with pride that we have the best equipment available with literally the country's best radiologist to read them.  Our ultrasound machines come from a place the sounds like "WE".  "We" sends it's people to our radiologist to learn what can be done with their machines.

If any of you are interested in more info please feel free to email me.  If I can't answer your question I can certainly find someone who can as my personal doc is also director of the Center.

Fellow women, we need to unite and make it very clear we will no longer be pushed around.  WE have voices and we can raise them very loud if we choose too.

I shall now remove myself from my soapbox for the evening.

For richer or poorer in sickness and stupidity

I can't recall ever being so angry at him (Larry).  The trainer told me today that we should feed Colin by hand the next couple of weeks.  I relayed the info when we got home as Larry had stayed home to give the cats sometime to hang all over him.  They really miss their connection with Larry because Colin is always there.

So he (the asshole husband) feeds Colin tonight.  He puts the dog dish down and I say NO. No Mike said we should feed Colin by hand the next couple of weeks so he understands who's in charge.  Larry just shrugged and rolled away.

I am so angry I could spit.  I'm seriously considering saying fine you take him out for his walk tonight.  Walker, wheelchair I don't really give a F@#K.

Stay tuned for the next "I'm going to kill my husband" update.

Oh now I'm really pissed!

Remember the post I wrote yesterday about the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force considering changes the rules for mammograms?  Well today they did it.

I'm not sure if I'm more stunned, angry or outraged.  If I had followed their every other year guide line my cancer would have been well on it's way to my lymph nodes, brain and bones.  And I'd be well on my way to death, yep my tumor was tiny (1/4" get out your rulers to see how small that is) but deadly.

As it is I have the "pleasure" of being felt up every 3 months for the next 2 years.  My type of cancer is more likely to reappear in the first 5 years.  After that I'm pretty much home free, if you can ever consider yourself home free after having cancer.

Oh and in case you missed it, I'm seriously pissed!  I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it, but I WILL DO SOMETHING.

New Controversy Brewing

 There is a new study out that suggests women should not be screened for breast cancer until the age of 50 and then only every other year.

Yes well, statistics and theories are nice but what about women in their 20's through their 40's?  Or women like me who had a clear mammogram one year only to find a tiny but deadly tumor the next?

I realize that there are inherent risks in getting mammograms but it seems to me the amount of radiation you're exposed too is more than outweighed by the benefit getting it in the first place.  Did that sentence make any sense at all?  I know what I'm trying to say but it's not coming out of my brain clearly.

Obviously, to me anyway, the sooner you have a mammogram and catch something that looks suspicious, the sooner you have an ultrasound or MRI which confirms the findings good or bad.

Yes these are expensive tests, health care reform anyone, but they save lifes.

'The CISNET analysis shows that screening every other year maintains almost all of the benefit (an average of 81 percent) of annual screening with almost half the number of false-positives.'  And what about the 19% it doesn't benefit.  That's one hell of a huge number by my standards.

I'm sure there will be more information to follow but I wanted to open the door to get  people's attention.  The more questions you ask, the better informed you are and the better decision you and your doctor can make.

That's my soapbox rant for today.

Guilty Pleasure

It' so decedent to sleep all day when your doctor orders you to do it!  Thank you Dr. Sanity.  She sent me home early from our session again yesterday with a GO TO BED AND STAY THERE because I was so tired words were disappearing from my mind before then were even spoken.

What with everything going on around here and having to shoulder most of the burden (or at least THINK I have to shoulder the burden, I've burned myself and my brain to a royal crisp!  As in I'm thinking one word and type another kind of burned out.Larry's getting better so I passed most of the tenant work back to him which is good because he's now as seething with anger as I am.  I passed it back to him but told him I'm going to do backup so he does not slip back into his sweet guy mode, because he is MUCH nicer than me.  I've worked extremely hard to get the tenants to recognize that we are 1) only their landlords and 2) they live in very old houses that bear no resemblance to living in a current era apartment and cannot always be repaired to their standards.  Please don't even get me started on windows because if I hear from a certain tenant ONE MORE TIME ABOUT HER FRICKING WINDOW I will loose my mind.

Dear Tenant,

Your house was built in the early 1940's without a foundation.  The house has settled over the intervening 60 some years.  The window CANNOT be repair to your exacting standards.  If you are unable to cope with this fact please feel free to take you and your whining self and find yourself a new place to live.

signed,

At my wit's end your landlord.

ps you are not going to be raped and murdered ( especially when you have a gun which reminds me I need to call Susan Chief of Police to see if it's legal for you to have a gun because you are a serious nutcake), there is no need to create drama where this is none or use that pathetic, whiny, oh woe is me, no one loves me voice every fricking time you call either.  It just makes me more pissed off.

I would really, really love to post this letter on her door but Larry frowns when I call the tenants nutcases to their faces.

We're all still alive reposted - spell checked this time

But exhausted!  Between Larry and I we've been to the doctor 4 times this month and that doesn't include visits to Dr. Sanity.  Oh and of course that doesn't include all the time he was in the hospital and rehab last month.  And Larry has 2 more visits next week.  One for his eye and one for physical therapy.  He's hoping to be transferred to crutches at the physical therapy visit.  I don't want to burst his bubble but I think it going to be a more gradual process so I just keep my mouth shut.

The other thing we did was adopt a dog.  We brought him home Wednesday and it feels as if he's always been here. No pictures yet, can't find my damn camera cable.

When Larry was in the hospital in Oakland he said "I need a dog"  I promptly got in touch with my friend who is the director of the hospital for the Humane Society and said "Larry needs a dog"  Carol is the person who found Max for us so I knew she would know the right dog when she saw it.  It had to be big and it had to like cats.  Well, he's definitely big, a combination of Brindled English Mastiff and German Shepherd.  His face looks very Shepard, all black and eyes that just make you melt.  He was raised with 2 cats and 2 small dogs.  The family had to downsize and there just wasn't room for 110 lb dog.  Carol said the owner was weeping when he turned him in and it's easy to see way.  He's about 18 months old as mellow as can be and CUTE.  She sent us pictures of him on Friday, we went to visit on Sunday and fell in love. I went to the shelter fully prepared not to like him but one look at his face and it was love at first sight.  Even better he walked over to Larry who was in his wheel chair and put his great big head in Larry's lap.  Larry just lite up like a Christmas tree.  It was the first time I've seen him really smile since he came home from the hospital. The owner said he was leash trained but my version of leash trained and his are 2 very different things.  I spent half the day yesterday yanking on the leash telling him "don't pull on the leash" and feeling terrible for doing it.   We solved that problem by making a visit to Healdsburg Dog House.  Natalie has a wonderful harness  that circles his body and the way it's designed you can very easily reel him in if you need too, teach his to walk properly at your side and we can leave it on for a long time as we want (I have a feeling it's going to be a long time, he's very smart but he's also 110 lbs and can be some what "difficult" to handle him.  We will be going to dog school but that will have to wait awhile as he's going to be Larry's dog I want Larry to do the bulk of the training.We'd been home about five hours when I glanced over at the couch.  Larry was sitting there, Colin had his head on his lap and was sound asleep.  Last night I couldn't get to my camera fast enough but Larry was stretched out on the couch sleeping and Colin was stretched out on top of him sleeping.The owner said he was leash trained but my version of leash trained are 2 very different things.  I spent half the day yesterday yanking on the leash telling him "don't pull on the leash" and feeling terrible for doing it.   He had to got back to the hospital yesterday to get his foot checked, they had removed a foxtail from his back foot when he came in.  In order to get in there on the appointed time I had to take him to Dr. Sanity's with me.  She frequently has other dogs come to sessions but I was a little worried about his manners of lack thereof to be more accurate.  He behaved very well. And best of all while Colin got his foot checked Carol and I got to spend some time talking to each other.

We used to talk frequently when I was doing volunteer work with Pets Are Loving Support.  But I stopped doing that years ago so our conversations have been via email and phone.  It was a total delight to see here happy and smiling.  Her husband died 4 years ago (hard to believe).  She still gets together with 4 other people that were in her hospice support group once a month which gives her great comfort. That's about it except for the ugly tenant wars and I've turned those back over to Larry.  My brain is fried to a crisp, I angry at them for being so stupid, and angry at myself for being so intolerant.  I'm perfectly happy going back to taking care the the money side.

OMG, I just got off the phone with my 21 yo nephew who is madly in love with Sarah Palin.  I keep telling him I'll eventually convert him from the dark side.  This kid is as smart as a whip, intelligent, funny, witty, loving, caring, supporting but he doesn't have a lot of guidance in  his life.  So while his little brother is attending UNR ( University of Nevada of Reno), he's still attending the local jc trying to find his way.  He's so funny he decided that his apartment was occupied by 2 ghosts so he went to the local Catholic Church he attends in Hollister, got a bottle of holy water and sprinkled it in all four corners of his apartment.  He says the ghost is now gone.  One I established the holy water was not stolen ( don't even ask) I agreed that the ghost was probably gone.  This is why I LOVE to talk to him!

I remember when had him up for a visit when he was about 3.  He's ALWAYS loved mechanical things.  We had a VCR that had died and Larry was going to toss it out, I said NO, let's keep it for Chris it will keep him entertained for hours.  And sure enough it did.  We started of just giving him a screw driver.  Pretty soon the questions started coming "what do you think will happen if I do this, or this or this."  He ended up with a pair of scissors and a wrench in addition to his screw driver.  He had the time of his life.

Well it's time to take Colin out, gee I wonder who's going to do that? So I'll close for now.  I think things have settled down enough that I might get some regular posts going.  But in the meantime I'm thinking of all of you.

If this post seems a little disjointed - it is there's been a lot going on and between dog wrangling and loading the wheelchair into and out of the car my lower back is killing me!

Will someone please explain why people like this are allowed to have children

Case in point   www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5idOw7yXOoyaU14MWjkJIllXXjMoQD9B5UTB80

A couple decided to ignore their 11 year old daughter's clear illness Madeline Neumann who died of an undiagnosed but treatable form of diabetes.

Instead of taking her to the doctor, getting her diagnosed and treated they decided to pray over her saying  they believe healing comes from God and that they never expected their daughter to die.  The Judges reply "God probably works through other people," Howard told the parents, "some of them doctors."

To my way of thinking healing comes from God by using the brain she gave you and getting yourself or your loved one to a doctor.  I am astounded that this kind of hocus-pocus God will solve every problem is still alive and well in this country.

Here's her parents take on the issue:

During the sentencing hearing, Leilani Neumann, 41, told the judge her family is loving and forgiving and has wrongly been portrayed as religious zealots.

"I do not regret trusting truly in the Lord for my daughter's health," she said. "Did we know she had a fatal illness? No. Did we act to the best of our knowledge? Yes."

Dale Neumann, 47, read from the Bible and told the judge that he loved his daughter.

"I am guilty of trusting my Lord's wisdom completely. ... Guilty of asking for heavenly intervention. Guilty of following Jesus Christ when the whole world does not understand. Guilty of obeying my God," he said.

Prosecutors contended the Neumanns recklessly killed their youngest of four children by ignoring obvious symptoms of severe illness as she became too weak to speak, eat, drink or walk. They said the couple had a legal duty to take their daughter to a doctor but relied totally on prayer for healing. The girl, known as Kara, died on the floor of the family's rural Weston home as people surrounded her and prayed. Someone finally called 911 after she stopped breathing.

There are thousands of couples in the world that would dearly love a child, instead by some ugly twist of fate ignorant people like this end up with them.  You have to take a test to get a driver's license, a manicurist and a number of other jobs.  Why don't people have to take a test to become parents?

As you can see I'm feeling a bit more normal and have collected myself enough to get involved with the world again.

Philosophically speaking

I was just talking to a friend who told me God never gives you more than you can handle and the more she (he in her case) gives you the more she loves you.  She said God must really love you.  We then ended our conversation laughing hysterically because if I start crying it's all over.

So the tenants are being stupid, drugged out and insane.  They were clearly standing behind the door on the day God handed out brains.  I had a lovely conversation with 2 sheriff's deputies at midnight last night.  One tenant doesn't seem to think we'll notice things disappearing, as in the coffee maker that was there last week and now is gone, along with a table, 2 lamps and 2 stools or the four large chainsaws.  If they'd taken the little ones' we'd never have noticed until winter rolled around and it's time to carry one in the back of the car for fallen trees.  No they were stupid enough to take the 4 large and expensive ones.

I've declared NO ONE is to have any visitors until Larry comes home because the first rule of landlording is to keep your tenants safe.  I've spent hours on the phone with hysterical tenants, one is convinced she's going to be raped and murdered how she's decided she's the one out of all the tenants is beyond me but there you have it.

I've spent hours on the phone with the HUD/section 8 people and am trying to find a way to evict at least one (the alleged thief) from the property asap.  I have to say I'm REALLY tired of talking with sheriff's deputies no matter what time of day.  Then I called Larry today to say I just could not make it to see him.  I felt SO bad, here's the person I love most in the world and the tenants are sucking me dry so I don't even have the energy to drive 45 minutes to see him. 

I talked to all of them and told them I needed peace this weekend.  NO VISITORS and CALL THE SHERIFF NOT ME.

I'll let you know what happens.  Mama said there'd be days like this.

BTW -  Nik, the devil sister I'm so jealous of your iphone I can hardly stand it.

Embarrassed to admit it

But I've become addicted to the world's tackiest show Toddlers and Tiaras.  Yes I am hanging my head in shame, but I can't help myself.  It's one of those late night shows I watch when I can't sleep.

Little tiny baby hookers and their parents who think it's a fine thing.  Really reinforces my belief that people should have to take a test before becoming a parent - but then I'm watching it!