Well, it's not going to kill you

Massive and misery meet allergy

Allergy meet M&M.  Massive allergy misery is what I've been going through for the last 7 days.  At least today my nose is not running off my face but I have developed a sweet petite cough that feels like it's trying to rip out my throat.

2 antihistamines, 1 decongestant, eyedrops, 1 inhaler, OTC cough medicine and I sound like a frog, to be more accurate a frog that someone is trying to strangle.

It's Spring it's beautiful, the roses are blooming the trees are sporting new leaves and it's all trying to kill me.  This is the worst attack I've had in years it makes me long fondly for the steroids I took during chemo - best allergy year I've ever had.

I finally gave up today and spent the day in the bedroom where we have a room air filter.  That gave me some measure of relief and now I can breathe through my nose again... sort of.

Fellow suffers I can relate to your plight.

 

Oh yea, Osama bin Laden is still dead.

Filling the box...

  ...literately and figuratively.

Once a week I fill up my prescription box, early morning pills, morning pills and bedtime pills.  Now all these pills are not "box" related but 4 are.  By the "box" I mean the box that I found myself in before I met up with Dr. Sanity.  The box that had me days away from suicide.  I didn't have a plan in mind but have since developed a nice clear fairly painless way to die, not that I intend to use it but you just never know.

By my nature I am not a group as in group support person.  I tend to pick one person I can rely on and stick with them.  Unfortunately after I finished treatment I also lost my person.  I tried to carry on as best I could but didn't do a great job of it.  And when you add ending treatment and a ruptured bowel on what was supposed to be my reward for finishing my treatment I was really a mess.

PLEASE all you non-support people like me find yourself a GOOD therapist, ideally right after you find your surgeon and oncologist.  You may have to go through 2 or 3 before you find the right one.  You may end up like me with Dr. Sanity and Dr. Drug because you need someone for therapy and someone for drugs.

Good news coming in Sonoma County at least there is finally movement on setting up an after care program for women who have completed therapy.  It will start development some time in the fall and just like the Breast Care Center will require time, money and talent to get it going but it WILL be there.

 

Suddenly it all makes sense sort of

I take a number of drugs to keep me relatively sane, two of them are Clonazepam and Celexa.

Both have a number of side effects too numerous to list.  Stay with me here I have a point it's just going to take time to get to it.  Turns out side effects of BOTH these drugs is shaking and one includes instability.  That one  explains why I'm constantly tripping over my own feet and convinced I'm going to take a header down Dr. Sanity's front steps, all 19 of them.

Now on to the point.  Friends and Dr. Sanity are constantly asking about my shaking some days it's a mere quiver others I shake so badly I can't put on my mascara.  Today I finally had the good sense to look up the side effects of both drugs - hey it only took me 3 years.

So that explains why I shake now just to find out why I shake some days and not others.