Well, it's not going to kill you

We now return to our main story

When I had arrived the night before he told me surgery was scheduled the next day (Sat 9/5)  My sister Jan and I arrive at the hospital at 10 am to find out that surgery is scheduled for 1pm.  Ok it's a wait but not bad for Kaiser.  Jan and I head out to the cafeteria (NEVER, EVER eat in the cafeteria at Oakland Kaiser, just take my word for it)  We arrive back at Larry's room at 12:30 and he's gone.  A wonderful (one of the few) case managers sees us looking blank outside the door and he offers to take us down in the staff elevator and locate Larry.

The usual pre-op stuff is going on, the anesthesiologist asks if we eaten, yes, his reply was I hope not downstairs!  The surgeon, an amazing man comes and explains what he's planning to do which is remove the ball from the socket, clean it up,  clean up the socket, repair the socket, reinsert the ball and voila.  He's also going to try to do the knee at the same time depending on how the hip goes.  The hip does not cooperate with the plan.  The ball is riddled with arthritis and the socket is much more badly damaged than expected.  It could be repaired to an extent but Larry would need a hip replacement in a couple of years.  So total hip replacement it is.  The knee didn't get done.

Jan had gone out earlier to get us some provisions in case we got hungry - we're mostly on the same wave length food wise salami sandwiches on sourdough and red whips.  We had been told the Piedmont Ave was only a block away but it could be another country.

We finally get to see Larry about 7pm.  He's telling me that he sees mice moving on the ceiling and he's in a pod in a warehouse and he could be alone or there could be dozens of other pods there.  Ok, this brings back to many memories of the last time he was in the hospital.  I ask him what his name is.  He smiles at me and replies Benjamin Franklin.  I said (rather sharply I gather) don't you start with me.  He immediately said my name is Larry Carey, I am in Kaiser Oakland Hospital and it's 2009.  Jan tells me later she's NEVER heard me talk to him like that.

By this time it's about 8 pm and I send Jan home after swearing an oath in blood that I would take a taxi to my hotel that is an entire block away.  I stayed with him until 11:30 more to reassure myself that he's really not in an altered state but also to help him touch the "ground" again. 

The next morning I call and he says he's really in a bad mood, he'd rather be alone.  I said great because I'm exhausted and I'm going back to bed.  I read a bit then slept until 5 pm. He's still not feeling social but I'm hungry so I wander over to Piedmont to get something to eat.  In the meantime he has found out that knee surgery is scheduled for the next day (9/8)  probably for sometime in the late afternoon.  Jan and I confer.  I plan to arrive at the hospital at 11 am.  Jan will leave work in Sunnyvale at 2:30.  Surgery starts out being scheduled at 6, then 7, then 7:30, he finally leaves for OR at 8 pm.  The surgeon says he's supposed to say this surgery will take 2 hours but he knows it will really take 3 to 3  1/2.  Again an outstanding anesthesiologist and OR nurse.   He happens to be from Jamaica and tells us we MUST go there because their are many, many Carey's in Jamaica.  Works for me!

I don't usually like to leave the hospital while Larry is in OR but Jan and I were starving at this point so we head back to Piedmont Ave for some food.  We get back and then begins the wait.  It was about the same time as the wait Sunday but seemed so much longer because it was dark and the hospital was quiet.  The surgeon finally comes to talk to us, I told him he looked as exhausted as I felt.  The knee went great so now we're in a holding pattern to get him stable and into rehab.  I'd had the good sense to talk to the charge nurse the first day I got there and made it clear I wanted him transferred some place closer to home, and I reminded the charge nurse EVERY DAY.

By Wednesday it's clear Larry is stable, fine and grumpy.  I decide it's time to go home. Thursday I get a call saying he's being moved but giving me no information.  Friday they called and said he's being transferred to Sebastopol ( about 40 minutes away)  YES!  Once again the Kaiser dance began.  Transport was coming at noon - great I'd be able to spend SOME time of our anniversary with him, transport was coming at 2, transport arrived at 2:30 which meant he didn't get to Apple Valley until almost 5.  I'd promised FWF that I would be there but it's about 1 1/2 hours from Sebastopol to Cloverdale.  So we talked on our anniversary - our 10th anniversary we just talked.  Well at least he's alive.  I was planning to see him yesterday but fear of the fires moving stopped me.  I FINALLY got to see him today.  He was sitting in the hallway when I came through the front doors and his face lit up like a Christmas tree.  Talk about having a boost to your ego!

We still don't know what the plan is except that he cannot put any weight on his left foot for 3 months.  At this point knowing he's safe, well and in a good nursing home let's me go with the flow.  Apple Valley is nice, clean, relatively current furnishing and the staff I've met are wonderful.  I cannot tell you how that eases my mind.

Thus ends the current installment of Larry and the flying Gator.  I'll keep you all posted.

Every day life

After 3 1/2 days in bed with the flu (oh such BAD memories of chemo), yesterday I celebrated my first extended day out of bed by visiting Dr. Sanity then we went to a dinner party.  The regular FWF group had been invited to another couple's house for dinner.  They have a place in Lincoln as well as in Healdsburg so we don't seem them often.

It was the usual you bring this, you bring this, etc.  Since I have been crowned Queen of appetizers I made appetizers.  It was the same stuffed brie I'd made a couple of weeks ago except I couldn't find 1 big brie in town so I bought 2 small ones.  I stuff them with basil, shallots, sundried tomatoes and walnuts.  Then wrap them in puff pastry and bake for about 20 mins.  1 turned out perfect, the other (in my mind) a catastrophic failure.  It had leaked most of the contents out onto the cookie sheet.  Chase, mr food himself, just scooped in up, plopped the leaked contents on top of the dough and problem solved.  It actually looked really good that way.  And tasted delicious.

I was relatively certain I wouldn't be eating much because I'd hardly eaten anything all week.  My appetite returned with a vengeance!

But what really got me was the after dinner drink Limoncello  .

Oh my goodness, the stuff is addictive!  And fortunately for all of us Bev and Chase have a lemon tree that is ALWAYS loaded, experimenting here we come.

starting with today and working sort of backwards

I had a good visit with Dr. Sanity today.  On my visit Friday I had one of those omg it all makes so much sense moments that left me in a puddle on the floor.  When issues happen like that they tend to overpower me  but it was also FWF and I had to make appetizers.  When I got home I put everything away, said over my shoulder to Larry "wake me up at 4:30" and collapsed in bed.I got up and made the stuffing for the brie (sun-dried tomatoes, shallots, basil and butter) it was meant to be served cold but at the last minute I decided to wrap it in puff pastry dough and bake it.  As I was wrapping it, it immediately became clear that I had not rolled my dough out enough.  But I pulled here and pushed there then threw it in the oven because time was short.  I only cooked it half way as I didn't want it to cool down while we drove.
I pulled it out of the oven and man did it look ugly!  But you have to deal with what you got.  So off to Bev & Chase's we go, finshed baking it, still looked ugly but it tasted FABULOUS.  8 People inhaled a 19 oz stuffed brie in no time flat.

Saturday was book club, I cheated on book club because I had found asian lettuce wraps at Costco.  All I needed to add was cut up limes and peanuts. Voila ready for book club.  The book we read this month was beyond wonderful.  I loved every single word in the book.  We all loved it except poor Dianne who had yet to receive her copy.  So we sort of talked around it not wanting to ruin the experience for her.  That means next month we'll have 3 books to discuss as we chose 2 smaller books The Forever War by Dexter Filkins and The Lizard Cage by Karen Connolly.

And yesterday I recovered from Friday with Dr. Sanity, FWF and book club!

The joy of the tribe

I had another wonderful session with Dr. Sanity today.  We talked about a post I sent her Saturday, we have a private blog only she and I have the passwords.  I had to convince her that it was safe because she  is VERY into protecting people's privacy.  I  told her that I ALWAYS have words running through my mind and I didn't feel right calling her 20 times a day to talk after all she has other patients and a life.  That won her over.

Then I filled her in on yesterday's event.  I felt like my real self for the first time in a looonnnggg, looonnnggg time. Just totally present and joyful.  I think it was because I got to reconnect with the Tribe.  We don't have Council meetings as often as we did so we don't get to keep in touch like we used to.  Here was a collective group of women who have been on the same journey I've been on.  Our paths have been very different due to the different circumstances of our cancers and even the years we were diagnosed.  One friend was diagnosed in 1986 in those days in was a mastectomy no choice.

Thank God that times have changed, new diagnostic techniques, new surgery techniques, new drugs, new radiation techniques.  All this has made great changes for anyone who may find that errant lump.

Even the some of the MD part of the tribe was there.  Amy, Charlie, Dennis, Lea all of us having taken this journey.  Being with this group is like being home because they all understand or have been there themselves.

It was blissful and I remain blissful.  Hope it stays around for a while.

A party in your mouth yesterday

That is if you like Pinot Noir.  Yesterday was the 5th Annual Pinot Family reunion that John Ash restaurant put's on as a fund raiser for the Breast Care Center.  A collection of some of the best Pinot's in the state along with appetizers and a band.  Toss in a beautiful venue and a beautiful day it was perfect.

Unless you live in the area most of the wineries are so small for you to recognize but Sapphire Hill, Siduri, Skewis, Lynmar, Merry Edwards all the greats were there.

In addition the Amador family debuted their first release from their winery Gracianna.  Lisa is spokesperson for Sutter in Sonoma County, oversees the funding raising department among her other million duties.  The winery project has been something they've been working on a long time.  They bot/4444444444444444444444444444444.( Emme's contribution to the conversation)  anyway they both wanted a business they could do with their kids that revolved around wine.  Their son in the winemaker and the Pinot was beautiful.

There is also a silent auction, all proceeds come directly to the center and a loyal jeweler who lost his wife to breast cancer designs a one of a kind necklace every year that gets raffled off.

Every year John Ash asks for volunteers from the Center to help set up in the morning and break down afterward.  A free ($50) ticket is provided to each volunteer.  Larry and I always choose the morning shift so we can really enjoy the wine and food after we get off duty.  When we got there yesterday most of the tedious work had been done, the glasses had been polished, table clothes put out, etc.  The only thing left to do was pirate flowers from a wedding that had been there the night before to make LOTS of bouquets and help organize the silent auction items as they came in.

Then is was time for the party in the mouth, Yum

This might actually kill me

To be more accurate this week will seriously suck.  Larry has finally recognized that it's time to let Max go.

 

We have friends who have been out of town that want to visit him before we do the deed.

They'll be home tomorrow afternoon and we're going to have a little Maxfest.  Some appetizers, probably lots of champagne and Max will get to spend time with 2 of his favorite people before he leaves for dog heaven.

I had a session with Dr. Sanity today.  We talked about how hard this has been on me because it's been clear to me for at least a month that it was time to do what was best for Max but Larry didn't agree.  We talked about grief and shared dog stories that made us laugh and made us cry.   Dr. Sanity's dog who went everywhere with her died about 1 1/2 years ago.

She always gives me a hug at the end of a session today she stood there and just held me while I cried for about 5 minutes.  I honestly don't know what I'd do without her.  Right now she is my biggest support system.  I know I'm going to need to hold her close this week so I can be Larry's support system.

Never again!

We had an adventure today.  That's the last time we'll have that adventure!!!

 My Mom, uncle and cousin were coming back from a visit to Garberville.  We usually meet them for lunch either when their going up or coming back.  Today we met them of at all places River Rock Casino.  My Mom and uncle love to play the 25 cent slots.

Although this blight upon the landscape as been there for several years Larry and I have never been.  If I spend money I want something for it!

So imagine our delight when we walk into the casino itself.  You open a door and are bombarded with NOISE and cigarette smoke.  Two of my least favorite things.

The restaurant is in the back so you wend your way through the rows of machines many with little old ladies with cigarettes hanging out of the corners of their mouths stuffing money into a machine.  A sight to behold let me tell you. 

 The food wasn't bad, I mean how can you wreck a patty melt ? 

They also have a buffet which Larry cruised through.  They were even generous enough to make a grilled cheese sandwich for my mom which was not on the menu, they just left off the tuna.  The staff and service were nice but the lingering smell of cigarette smoke drifting in from the main floor didn't add a lot to the ambiance.

After lunch the trio headed off to the section of the casino that doesn't allow smoking except in the hallway right outside the rooms that don't allow smoking which I discovered on the way to the restroom.

So there you have it my first and last foray into River Rock.  I had called Dr. Sanity just to get a voice fix before we left.  I got home to a message from her laughing hysterically, saying of all the places to eat in Healdsburg????

Upon arriving home I immediately stripped off all my clothing and tossed them in the washing machine.

 

Has any one mentioned that growing old sucks and other points of interest

Well it does.  I was healthy as a horse until I turned 50.  The last 6 years have been a down hill slide.  I won't bother to regale you with the gory details but geez can't it just stay static for a while?  Just a couple of days would be nice.  Today it's my upper left thigh, my knee and my very annoying but fortunately not infected tick bite.  We are thinking good thoughts that it was not a tick that carries Lyme disease for that would truly be unfortunate in addition to being a royal pain in the ass.

Of course I don't get a lot of sympathy around here as Larry is 68 and therefore claims title to the "I'm getting too old for this" award.  But I work really hard to keep my second place standing.

So in spite of a crumbling body I will solider on.

I can't wait to hear what the conspiracy theorists have to say about the advance security person who went to Mexico and came home sick.  3 of the 4 members of his family have tested positive for H1N1 (because it's really NOT the swine flu no matter what the media says).  I can hear them now - The Mexicans are coming here purposely to infect our entire country so they can take it over!  Close the borders!!!  Never mind the ignorance that viruses have no concept of borders and will travel wherever the hell they want.  Have they not heard of planes, trains and automobiles? Really funny movie by the way.

Ah but they're so entertaining in their paranoia.

Soon it will be off to the kitchen to make the stuffed shells (only I use Italian sausage instead of veal, moral stands and all that) that I was going to make yesterday but in my self pitying mode and a 7:15 pm doctor appt they didn't get made.  But no problem as we have left over Risotto - it's just getting better by the day - for dinner.

Then it's time to figure out a dessert for FWF and something for book club Saturday, it would help if I finished the book as well.  I'm finding it very dark and difficult read.

In addition to this lovely news it's supposed to rain tomorrow YES!  We seriously need it.  Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.

TTFN

Even grocery shopping was fun

I have a therapy tool I'm trying.  I went to one of those paint it yourself pottery places and bought a bowl.  It resides in Dr. Sanity's office until I feel like a puzzle piece has fallen in place.  Friday it seemed as several pieces had fallen into place so I took the bowl with me.  Today I went and painted a few pieces of the puzzle, none of them are connected to another yet but one piece is connected to the top edge of the bowl.  It was not until I got home and was showing the bowl to Larry that I realized when fired the only piece currently touching the edge will be almost the exact color as Dr. Sanity's hair.  A little freaky.

Then it was off to Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.  Because EVERYTHING seems to be getting so expensive I shop a lot more at TJ's, which is hard because I really try to support our local farmers but I don't need homemade ricotta for my stuffed shells so the cheap stuff will do.  Soon the farmer's market will start and then I can get back into at least buying veggies there.

Ever since I went through chemo I'm paranoid about meat and fish.  I almost always buy them at Whole Foods.  I can find organic, chemical free meat and fish there.  The carry the dairy products from Clover the only dairy in the country that has been certified as cow friendly by the Humane Society.

Now it's off to do something with the things I purchased while having fun.

Fun, it has such a nice ring to it.

A fine weekend

We finally resumed FWF this week as 3 of the 4 couples were in town.  An event that usually lasts from 6 to 9/9:30 went until 11:30 almost unheard of for us.  I received a lecture from everyone at the table on my unhealthy obsession with my pills and was told to just get that idea out of my mind NOW.

Larry still has all the pills and that's actually fine with me, out of sight, out of mind.

Saturday was an abalone feed for the Fire Department Volunteer firefighters. For those of you who've never had fresh abalone, it's heaven on a plate.  But please take my word for it don't buy it in a restaurant.  It's likely to have been illegally taken, there is a size requirement and a limit on the number you can take at any one time.  Every year people are caught with illegal abalone which are confiscated then donate to non-profits for funding raising purposes.  I hate to stereotype but it's usually Asians from the Central Valley who are the worst offenders.

But I digress, the abalone was fabulous.  We usually get a big group together but this year is came up suddenly so it was just the 2 of us.  We marveled that for all the time we've lived in Healdsburg, 37 years for Larry 23 for me, we know few people.  There are faces I recognize but can't put names too.  But we did get to chat with our head Wine Diva, the chief of Police and her wife the constitutional lawyer.

Then today we thought we were selling some of our timeshares but it turned out that the company wants you to pay THEM money to take them off your hands, thank you no.  I was in a serious funk at that point.

We then met friends for a concert and dinner.  The American Philharmonic is an all volunteer orchestra that puts on free concerts 4 times a year.  They are tremendous.  The evening ended tonight with Beethoven's  Symphony No. 7, a mean piece to play but play it they did with zip and furor.  

We then headed to Chinois, a restaurant I've heard great things about and wanted to try.  We worked  our way through the menu with gusto.  Every single dish was fantastic!  If you get a chance to go jump at it.

Fortunately the beautiful music pulled me out of my funk and dinner the final thing I needed to completely transform the day.

Yea for me!  And it wasn't even fake it til you make it.